Tuesday, June 12, 2012

People of the Happy Ending.

There are people who are actually looking for a happy ending for me. I truly do appreciate it. If only you guys knew how close to the edge I was, just this year alone.

I'd like to confess to a few things. I contemplated physically murdering Corpy several times when I lived with him. I was being reminded of the money I no longer had, my beats were being disrespected, my bars were laughed at, and my humor was dismissed as a junkie trying to be funny. So yeah. Often I thought of brutally murdering him. I'm sure the last sentence would get me locked up, but its the post murder that would shock.

Instead, I went to Cleveland and took it out on my hometown. Ans I felt no shame. In jail, I could fight when I want, had three guaranteed meals, had a curfew for writing time, and gained better control over my psyche. I can't fight the feeling of missing jail, but I'm on the outs. But don't think I don't miss having a uniform and the option to fight. I remember when my commissary got stolen. What a fucking day that was.

To whoever my future woman may be, fear not my temper. I will never strike you. I just have issues with people playing both sides of the fence. Pick the subject and field.

I dead ass miss solitary in jail. I spent New Years 2011 in ISO. It prepared me for the focus and discipline I have now. Nothing can break my focus. Not even love.

Unless you're Jack, George and James.